#20 Jas Rawlinson Speaks on Why Domestic Violence Isn't Just Physical Abuse & How To Get Out Of Toxic Relationships

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 As a society, we are becoming more and more aware of the importance of taking care of our mental health.  Self care practices such as meditation and regular exercise or seeking professional help are becoming more common for people struggling with mental illness.  However there is one topic that is not so widely talked about and yet it impacts millions of people and that is the topic of domestic violence.  

Statistically, 1 in 6 women and 1 in 16 men have experienced physical or sexual violence from a current or previous partner.  25% of women and 5% of men have experienced emotional abuse and 17 adults are hospitalised every day due to assault from a partner or family member.  These are alarming numbers and a sure sign that we need to raise awareness on this issue to bring help to those in danger.

Our guest today is Jas Rawlinson who is, among many things, an Australian mental health and empowerment speaker, best-selling author and a survivor of sexual assault and family violence.  She is a highly respected event speaker and story writing coach and is passionate about empowering people to re-write their life stories.  As a child living with an abusive father, Jas was no stranger to fear and depression but now her life is a shining example of triumph over tragedy.  She advocates for healing and hope after trauma and works to give a voice to anyone who has ever felt voiceless.

In this episode, Jas shares from her journey growing up in a household with domestic violence and the impact it had on her life.  At the age of 19, Jas lost her father to suicide and she talks about the multitude of conflicting emotions she faced during that time.  Jas also opens up about her sexual assault and the toxic relationships she developed due to the trauma she suffered growing up.

Jas brings home the point that domestic violence is not just physical and any type of abuse in a relationship is not ok.  Whether it be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual abuse, leaving an abusive situation is fraught with hardship for those involved and it is one of the most challenging things a person can do.  Sadly, people are often too afraid to leave abusive situations for fear of being alone so they continue to suffer and build up a facade to hide their need.  This is all the more reason for us to raise awareness and be an open ear to those who are silently crying out for help.  


[4:00]: Jas discusses the launch of her book series and how it was inspired by the loss of her father to suicide

[6:30]: The impact that the death of her father had on her life and how she dealt with the conflicting feelings that arose

[8:15]: How Jas struggled to make healthy relationships and boundaries due to her abusive history which led to sexual assault at age 21

[10:00]: The power of taking responsibility for your own life and the decisions that take you into dangerous situations

[11:18]: How the childhood abuse affected Jas’ relationships as an adult where she sacrificed her own needs to please the other person

[14:26]: Statistics show that children from abusive families are more likely to go into abusive relationships as adults

[15:15]: Domestic violence is not just physical but can be emotional, mental and spiritual

[16:45]: How Jas started to establish boundaries through the help of journaling and not taking people at face value

[18:15]: How speaking up to her boyfriend helped Jas on her journey toward healing and finding a lifelong partner

[21:50]: How Jas had no support network until age 30 and relied heavily on journaling to help her

[25:13]: Jas’ advice to young girls stuck in toxic relationships and the importance of understanding that domestic violence is not just physical

[27:30]: What gaslighting is and how it makes you think you’re going crazy

[29:29]: The signs that show when something is not ok and the first step you need to take is to tell someone what you’re going through

[32:20]: How people often build up a facade that their life is great and feel scared to reach out for help

[35:19]: Jas shares a story of one of her clients and how breaking the cycle of abuse is such a challenge

[37:35]: Staying in a situation that is comfortable but not serving us is no way to live

[39:12]: The project Jas is currently working on and how it’s important to maintain self care during such challenging times


Website: https://jasrawlinson.com/

Facebook @ReasonsToLiveOneMoreDay

Book: www.jasrawlinson.com/books

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If after listening to this episode and you don't quite feel right or you want to reach out to someone to speak to, we have provided some useful resources below. 

For immediate support please call one of the following 24/7 hotlines. Someone will be ready to take your call. Remember, ‘It Ain’t Weak to Speak’


If you are in Australia:

Emergency: 000

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800


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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

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If you would prefer to speak with someone face-to-face, we recommend visiting your local GP (doctor) who will be able to have a chat with you about what is going on in your life and refer you to a mental health professional if required.

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